Mutombo shows off the jacket his good friend Betsy Ross made for him.
(credit Mike Murphy for the pic)
You won’t find this on the dollar menu….
No No No, Mutombo helps men who cannot help themselves…
What if Mutombo Was There?
April 14, 1912, 400 miles south of New Foundland
Shortly before midnight on April 14th and only 4 days into it’s maiden voyage the Titanic struck an iceberg. Two hours and 40 minutes later the Titanic sank killing 1,517 people making it one of the deadliest peacetime maritime disasters of all time.
If Mutombo was there this would not have happened. Mutombo would have scared the iceberg off with his patented finger wave thus saving the lives of everyone on board and sparing millions of people from having to watch the horrible movie and listen to that awful Celine Dion song 84 years later. One Mutombo finger wave would have saved us all because “No iceberg floats freely in the way of a cruise liner in the eyes of Mutombo.”
What if Mutombo Was There?
June 5, 1989, Tienanmen Square, Beijing, China
‘Tank Man’ also known as ‘The Unknown Rebel’ stands in front of a row of Tanks in a show of non violent action against the Chinese Government thus forcing the tanks to stop in their tracks.
If Mutombo was there this situation would have started off the same way but would have ended a bit differently. Due to Mutombo being 2 feet taller then most of the Chinese they would view his non violent action as being an attack by a giant forcing them to initiate the tank’s attack sequence. Mutombo would reject the tank’s canon fire back at the tanks which would blow up all of them thus saving China forever because “no tanks roll in a row down the streets of China in the eyes of Mutombo”.
What If Mutombo Was There?
January 10, 1982…San Fransisco, CA…NFC Championship Game…Cowboys Vs. 49ers
Trailing 27-21 the 49ers marched down the field to the Cowboys 6 yard line where they faced 3rd and 3 with 58 seconds left. With the offensive line collapsing Montana ran towards the sideline, pump faked the defense and let loose a high throw towards the back of the end zone that looked like a sure incomplete pass until Dwight Clark jumped out of his shoes to reel in the pass and give the 49ers a lead that they would never relinquish.
If Mutombo was there this never would have happened. That pass would have been rejected into the owners suite and the Cowboys would have won because “No man Montana leads game winning touchdown drives during NFC championship games in the eyes of Mutombo”.
In honor of the final season of Lost…
Mutombo Fan Art: Featured Artist Michael Murphy
This piece is titled “No one flies in the eyes of Wire Guy Mutombo“
